Chapter 4 - "Impeccable" Acting

As Yi Ling observed Wu Yaya, she was also observing him.

Her upper body shot up from her comfortable position on the lounge chair the moment she saw Yi Ling, and she shouted, “Little Marble!”

Wasn’t this handsome gentleman the little marble she lost over a decade ago? He grew taller and bigger. His androgynous face had shed its youthful frailty and hardened in maturity. His body was no longer as slender as it had been before, but became exceptionally well-built.

He looked like a completely different person, all save for those amber eyes, which flowed with navy blue.

No, those eyes also changed. They’ve become more mysterious and even more captivating.

Wu Yaya stared intently at the eyes hidden behind the glasses.

Her loud exclamation made Yi Ling furrow his eyebrows, but he paid no mind to the senseless words.

He stepped aside to let Lin Xiusong into his office.

“Mr. Yi, what’s wrong?” Lin Xiusong asked anxiously. Without waiting for an answer, she grabbed her sister’s hand and comforted her. “Xiao Zhu, this is Mr. Yi. He’s a great psychiatrist. He can help you. You can tell him anything that’s bothering you, and he can help you solve it. I’ll be waiting outside, don’t be scared.”

She stroked her sister’s frazzled hair and felt her emotions swell.

Just two years ago, this hair was still silky smooth and shone with lustre. She was so healthy, innocent, and lively. But now, she was so sickly frail.

Liu Xiusong was even afraid of crumpling her sister whenever she hugged her.

Noticing the red-rimmed eyes on Lin Xiusong, Wu Yaya finally remembered she had a job to do.

So, she immediately found her sense of duty. She scrunched her nose, blinked her eyes, and two streams of tears began flowing. She lowered her head and swallowed her tears, as if not wanting to respond to her sister. Several moments later, however, a weak sound of agreement could be heard.

It was as if the young lady had completely given up on herself, going through whatever motions others had prepared for her numbly. After all, she was already in this state. It couldn’t get any worse.

Lin Xiusong couldn’t bear to see her in that state. Her eyes started brimming with tears as well. She hugged her sister’s fragile body and pleaded, “You have to believe in Mr. Yi. He will help you. You will get better. Stay strong.”

She shed more tears as she stroked her sister’s head.

Wu Yaya could only continue playing her part and cried more with her.

She wasn’t afraid of slipping up in front of humans. She was very confident in her impeccable acting. She was crying on demand. Surely, even an acclaimed actress couldn’t do that! On that thought, the little crow couldn’t help but puff up her chest proudly.

Lin Xiusong was still holding her, so this little gesture escaped everyone’s notice.

However, beside them, Yi Ling was showing an intrigued expression.

Lin Xiusong had confirmed that the young lady was indeed Lin Xiuzhu and not someone else. However, she was different from the person her sister had described.

Tears were falling from her eyes, one by one, in an endless stream. Her brows were knitted in a deep grief.

However, Yi Ling knew both the tears and the grief were fake.

The eyes of someone who had been hurt to be point of losing the will to survive would be filled with pain. Her tears would be cold and murky, and would even taste more bitter than usual.

He wasn’t actually a psychiatrist. Rather, Yi was just well-versed in psychology, but was a researcher by trade. He had seen too many people stuck in despair, so he knew well how tears fell from those with deep wounds.

Lin Xiuzhu’s tears were different.

She was simply crying, as natural as clouds raining and springs gushing. No matter how well she disguised herself, the overwhelming vitality from her jet black eyes couldn’t be erased—so much so that even her tears were brimming with life.

Yi Ling never cried. He hated when people cried in front of him even more. All those years of cruel reality taught him one thing—it was that tears are the most useless things in the world.

So it was strange that Lin Xiuzhu’s crying face didn’t irritate him. He even found himself entertained by her fake bitter tears.

He took a seat on the side, folding his slender legs, and observed this special patient in silence.

Wu Yaya’s jet black eyes couldn’t help but start wandering as she felt the man approach. She really wanted to stare at his beautiful eyes. But alas, she was just a lowly contractor on her job. She had to earn soul power from her employer. So, she must quell her own desires and dutifully play the part of Lin Xiuzhu.

She buried her face into Lin Xiusong’s neck, taking the chance to wipe her snot and tears on the woman’s collar.

On the other side, Yi Ling took out a pen and a notepad from a drawer to take notes on this consultation. His eyes never left Lin Xiuzhu, and a smile so small it was barely detectable formed on his lips.

Those shining, clear eyes and certain small yet undeniable mischievous actions would never appear on someone who had sought suicide multiple times.

Yi Ling wrote down, “Lin Xiuzhu - victim of deep emotional manipulation”. He paused before adding a question mark. He was still uncertain about Lin Xiuzhu’s identity.

After thinking for a bit, he wrote another note: “alter ego”, also followed by a question mark.

It was highly possible that Lin Xiuzhu had developed dissociative identities after suffering the great trauma, but further diagnosis was required before a conclusion could be made.

Now that he had found a direction for therapy, Yi Ling spoke up. “Alright, can I get the family member to step out?”

Lin Xiusong quickly wiped her tears and hugged her sister tightly one last time before leaving through the door. The area on her shoulder where Wu Yaya had been leaning against was now darker in colour than the rest of her shirt. It looked wet and glistened suspiciously.

Wu Yaya felt no guilt or shame as she stared at that sticky patch, nor did she let her “sister” know. Once the door closed again, she took out a piece of tissue from her purse and blew her nose.

This was the problem with being a great actor: it was easy to get swept up by the moment.

She tossed the tissue into the trash can with a touch of pride.

Yi Ling observed her quietly. Then smiled as he jotted down “Alter ego also bearing emotional trauma?”.

He looked up to see the young lady shifting the cushion left and right to find the most comfortable laying position. One more note: “No such possibility”.

To Yi Ling, she was bright, a soul that’s never seen harm.

Wu Yaya finally found the perfect spot for the cushion and let out a sigh of relief. She was in high spirits. After all, she finally found her Little Marble.

She turned her head to study Yi Ling, who was looking at her cut-laddened wrists.

Ugh, these arms are too ugly! Gotta hide them! She quickly ducked her hands into her sleeves.

It was then that Yi Ling spoke. “You don’t need to hide them. Those are not marks of despair, nor are they scars of pain. They’re the cries of help your subconscious is sending out to the world. You weren’t hurting yourself. You were trying to save yourself.”

His voice was low and resonant. It sounded indulgently comforting.

Wu Yaya felt her ears grow warm listening to him, but still rolled her eyes inwardly. Cutting her wrists is self-help? That can’t be right. Little Marble still needs to work on his professional skills!

Yi Ling trained his eyes on his patient and slowly said, “Other people can’t see the pain hidden in our hearts. That’s why your friends and family usually can’t understand you when you try to tell them the emotional trauma you’ve suffered. They have no idea how to help you.

“But everyone can see and sympathize with the pain that’s on the body. When a knife cuts into you, it hurts. That’s common sense. Once your friends and family see the wounds, they can feel your pain and do everything they can to help you. That’s the logic behind self-harm.

“They’re not a sign of depravity or surrender, but a distress signal. You’re using the glaring sight of blood to tell those around you that you’re hurt, that you need help. Your subconscious is trying to save you. Do you understand?”

Yi Ling pointed his bony index finger in the air, as if to tap Wu Yaya between her brows from across the room. He coaxed her with every word, “You don’t really want to die. You haven’t given up on yourself completely yet. You can get better. There’s still a force inside your heart. These wounds are the result of that power.”

The young lady stared dumbfounded into Yi Ling's magnificent eyes, where something appeared to be stirring. Her head was blank.

After some time, she seemed to have sorted it out in her head. “Oh, I see!”

She looked through Lin Xiuzhu’s memories carefully and found what Yi Ling told her to be true. Every time she inflicted self-harm, Ling Xiusong would pull her sister into her arms and cry. Then, she would cradle her sister to sleep, just like when they were children. She’d pat her back and sing her a lullaby.

Those were the only moments Lin Xiuzhu could feel at peace. She besought that peace, and went to greater lengths to hurt herself.

She thought it was a sign she had fallen deeper, but she was wrong.

The truth was exactly the opposite — she was still fighting, she was crying for help.

“Every scar here,” Yi Ling pointed to Wu Yaya’s wrists and said in a gentle voice, “is a scream from your soul. They’re saying ‘Please help me’. Can you hear it?”

The young lady tilted her head, as if listening seriously, and nodded. “Yes, I can hear it.”

She had heard such desperate cries more than once when she swallowed Lin Xiuzhu’s memories. She wouldn’t be here in Lin’s stead otherwise.

“Then please let us work together to save this trapped soul who hasn’t given up the last sliver of hope, alright?” Yi Ling’s gentle tone sounded like he was inviting a lost child to follow him out of a dense black fog.

Wu Yaya agreed without thinking. “Yes!”

She also nodded her head enthusiastically, as if to show her resolve. That was her job anyway, so of course she wouldn’t refuse him.

After completing her wish, Wu Yaya’s memories as Lin Xiuzhu will form a ball of light and be returned to Lin Xiuzhu. Everything the little crow experienced would become Lin Xiuzhu’s own experience. Everything Wu Yaya heard, Lin Xiuzhu would hear as well.

Lin Xiuzhu would hear the words that Yi Ling spoke just now. There was merit to this therapy.

Yi Ling smiled in satisfaction. He wrote another line in his notes: “Alter - 16-18 y.o.; mind still immature; easily trusting”.

He put down his pen and looked at Wu Yaya. He sighed to himself, She’s still a child.

Wu Yaya looked at Yi Ling with smiling eyes. She thought to herself, like a proud mother, My Little Marble is all grown up.